Kraken Not Stirred is a musical act which spans various genres,
writing songs about all manner of nerdy pursuits.
If you grok songs about science fiction, fantasy, computers,
conventions, and general weirdness, you've come to the right place.
December 30, 2020
YEAR END REVIEW!
So... I'm told that this year has been a weird one for you humans. I'm not going to list off a whole pile of crap like murder hornets and Four Seasons Landscaping. You've heard enough of all that. I'm going to talk about what's really important...
WHAT I DID THIS YEAR
I released 11 original songs!
Words That Sound Rude
You Superhero Noised My Heart
Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum
Comic Sans Is Always A Good Choice For Your Professional Graphic Design Project
The Fifth Song On The Album
"Ook!" Said The Librarian
Listen To Wilhelm Scream
Don't Google Your Symptoms
Frak You, Smeghead
This Is My Jam
Barneymug The Buttons
I released nine episodes of Ask The Kraken
I created six improvisational chill-out drones to keep you calm and occupied while in quarantine: Subaquatic Isolation Transmissions
My human performed no in-person concerts this year for some reason, but he performed a two-part concert on his Twitch channel and another show live on the Interwebs for Demicon
And... probably the weirdest thing of the year... My human minion WROTE A NOVEL THAT GOT ACCEPTED BY A PUBLISHER! What? Yes, that is a thing that happened.
And then I made this list.
November 27, 2020
"Ask The Kraken" Episode 9!
This edition of your favourite Celebrity AMA show
involves seafood, fights, and song ideas.
November 17, 2020
NEW SONG! "Barneymug the Buttons"
Humans! It is the 20s! And you know what that means...
Flappers, speakeasies, prohibition, gang activity...
Speaking of gang activity, I'm told that you humans
have a thing called "Gangster Rap."
Here is a gangster rap song by ME! THE MIGHTY KRAKEN!
October 19, 2020
NEW SONG! "This Is My Jam"
Attention, human filth!
Normally at this time of the year I release something scary in honour of Halloween.
This year, however, I'm going for a more harvest-and-sweaters kind of vibe with nothing creepy about it at all. So please enjoy this little ditty (and the accompanying video) about making fruit preserves
September 21, 2020
NEW SONG!
Please enjoy "Frak You, Smeghead!"
Or don't. I don't really care.
September 13, 2020
Ask The Kraken Episode 7
In which we discuss Kraken Food, Dinosaurs, and Baby Shark.
August 17, 2020
NEW SONG!
"Don't Google Your Symptoms"
August 11, 2020
Ask The Kraken Episode 8
In which we discuss Minion Obedience Training, Impressions, and Guitar Practice.
July 27th, 2020
NEW SONG!!!!!
"Listen To Wilhelm Scream"
Here's a song about a mysterious being who lives and dies over and over throughout time. The only thing that remains the same in each of his lives is his blood-curdling death scream...
July 6th, 2020
ASK THE KRAKEN Episode 6
In this episode, we begrudgingly hand things over to the Kraken's robot friend, N3RDR0Q-42
July 1st, 2020
NEW SONG!
This one is inspired by Terry Pratchett's Discworld
May 27th, 2020
NEW SONG!
It's a song about songs! How very meta!
May 18th, 2020
NEW ALBUM!!!
Except it's old.
"Most Moistest Hits 2017" is now available at Bandcamp!
It features all of the songs I released in 2017,
plus three stragglers from 2016 that came out after Mixtape.
It features this new and improved version of "Don't Blink, Don't Panic,
Don't Feed Them After Midnight" with newly-recorded vocals...
And it looks... LIKE THIS!
May 11th, 2020
ASK THE KRAKEN Episode 5
In this episode we tackle magnets, other musicians the Kraken likes, and the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything
April 29th, 2020
NEW SONG!
"Comic Sans Is Always A Good Choice For Your Professional Graphic Design Project"
Graphic Design nerds, this one is for you! It's an absolutely epic song about font choice. This one is a doozy, so book the day off, strap yourself in, and get ready for a ride.
April 26th, 2020
LIVE SHOW THIS SATURDAY
My human minion will be performing my songs live via the Interwebs for the people of Demicon - Des Moines' Annual Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Gaming Convention Saturday, May 2nd, at 9pm Eastern.
You can watch it here, on their Facebook page.
April 25th, 2020
Subaquatic Isolation Transmission #4
This is an improvised drone originally
streamed live to Twitch on March 29th, 2020
April 15th, 2020
One year ago, I released a concept album about space exploration,
Songs From A Pale Blue Dot.
Here is the final song, "Guidance is Internal."
You can listen to the entire album here.
April 11th, 2020
Here is the third installment of my improvisational drone series,
"Subaquatic Isolation Transmissions," to keep you all entertained during quarantine.
This one is just the first one again, but with a drum loop, bass line, and guitar solo.
April 8th, 2020
Why, lookee here! It's the April edition of "Ask the Kraken," the only show where you get to ask me questions and, if you're lucky, I may deign to answer them.
I make no promises.
April 3rd, 2020
Subaquatic Isolation Transmission #2
Improvisational Drone with E-Bow
April 1st, 2020
Subaquatic Isolation Transmission #1
Listen here, human filth.
There's a virus out there and it's gotten out of hand. As much as I appreciate its gumption, if it takes you all out before I get a chance to, I'm going to be very cross. So in order to help give you more reason to stay indoors, I'm creating a bunch of overly long, hopefully relaxing drones for you to chill to. So do that.
Here is the first one...
March 25th, 2020
Hey, look! An instrumental!
If you've ever said, "Yeah, the music's OK but I hate that guy's voice,"
then this is the song for you!
March 11th, 2020
ASK THE KRAKEN
Episode 3
In this episode, we discuss minion torture, Tom Cruise, and Australians.
March 4th, 2020
New song? NEW SONG!
February 20th, 2020
Songs From A Pale Blue Dot Song 9: Martian Sunrise
February 12th, 2020
ASK THE KRAKEN - Episode 2
In Episode 2 of Ask The Kraken, we discuss sandwiches, teeth, and jelly from... THE FUTURE!!!
February 4th, 2020
Songs From A Pale Blue Dot Song 8: Tranquility
January 29th, 2020
ASK THE KRAKEN - Episode 1
Humans! I would like to present to you the inaugural edition of the only show in which you, the viewer, may ask questions of me, the Mighty Kraken, and maybe have them answered!
January 15th, 2020
THE FIRST NEW SONG OF 2020!
Let's start 2020 off right with a song about words that sound rude but aren't!
And then you can go masticate that turdiform sexagon!
January 8th, 2020
"SONGS FROM A PALE BLUE DOT" Song 6: The Loneliest Astronaut
Continuing with songs from my concept album about space exploration, Songs From A Pale Blue Dot, we have a song inspired by Michael Collins; the third member of the Apollo 11 crew.
Collins stayed behind in the lunar orbiter while Armstrong and Aldrin walked on the moon. He was out of contact for about 45 minutes each orbit, completely cut off from the rest of humanity, while on the far side of the moon.
January 1st, 2020
YEAR IN REVIEW
Hello, Human filth! Another one of your years has passed and I have accomplished GREATNESS! (As usual.)
This year, I released 9 original songs.
After the massive commercial success that was Most Moistest Hits 2018, I have decided to allow you to purchase all of this year's songs in one convenient package titled, shockingly, MOST MOISTESTS HITS 2019! All profits go to ME! THE MIGHTY KRAKEN! Thank you in advance for helping to fund my plans of World Domination!
Three of those songs are accompanied by extremely amazing and high budget music videos!
They are..
Time Loop Episode
Nap Hard
Evil Robot From Beyond The Moon
The remaining songs come with lyric videos...
Roamin' In Wyomin'
Now You're Just an NPC
My Shoulderbag Smells Like BO
Retweeted By A Minor Celebrity
Front Row Seat
Wrapper's Delight
===
Also this year: I put out AN ENTIRE ALBUM OF SONGS ABOUT SPACE EXPLORATION
My minion performed an album release party for the aforementioned space album.
My minion was on a creativity panel at Anime North
Music Unit N3RdR0Q-42 interviewed the Kraken
My minion performed a concert with The Gothsicles.
And... as if all that wasn't enough, I MADE A LIST OF ALL THE STUFF I DID AND PUT IT HERE!
2019 PUTS ME CLOSER TO WORLD DOMINATION! PERHAPS 2020 WILL BE THE YEAR I RISE FROM THE DEEP AND DEVOUR YOU ALL!!!
"Old News" is an oxymoron. But here it is, anyway.
2019
2018
2017
2016
Older